


Petty Fights and the Larger Question

by VeraBAdler



Series: October 2018 challenges [29]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bickering, Clueless Sam, First Kiss, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 14:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16451927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeraBAdler/pseuds/VeraBAdler
Summary: Cas and Dean take a while to figure out their UST. In the meantime, Sam gets migraines.Fictober prompt: “At least it can’t get any worse.”Promptober prompt: Star Trek





	Petty Fights and the Larger Question

“Because Kirk's fuckin' badass, man! He gets the job done and he doesn't screw around!”

Dean's voice preceded him into the room by a considerable margin, fueled as it was by his passionate belief in the point he was making. The vein in Sam's temple started to throb and he tightened his grip on his coffee cup as his brother stalked into the room, angel buddy in tow.

“Doesn't screw ar–!!” Cas scoffed. “'Screwing around' is an integral part of the man's personality! If James Kirk didn't waste half his time running around in ripped shirts and bedding everything vaguely female that crosses his path, maybe he'd be able to spare a moment to actually _read_ and _understand_ and occasionally _abide by_ the Prime Directive!”

Dean rolled his eyes in naked contempt. “ _Fuck_ the Prime Directive, Cas. Kirk _saves_ people, even if he has to break the rules to do it. He won the no-win scenario!!”

“If you're going to use his blatant cheating on the Kobayashi Maru simulation as proof of his character, Dean, you've already ceded my point. Captain Picard worked _within_ the structure of the Prime Directive to do good in the universe. He didn't _have_ to break the rules to save lives!”

“Picard's a stuffed shirt. He's all 'tea, Earl Grey, hot' while Kirk's got a bottle of Romulan ale in each hand. Who would _you_ rather hang with?”

“We were discussing efficacy in command, Dean, not who'd be more fun to party with. If you're going to change the subject, let's talk about who's a better actor – Shatner or Stewart?” The angel smirked.

“Low blow, dude! I'm calling a penalty!! But _fine_ ,” he growled, yanking his phone out of his pocket. “You wanna compare command decisions? Let's pull up _Memory Alpha_ and go through the episodes one by one and you'll _see_ I'm right about...”

Deciding that his peaceful morning coffee break had now been officially disturbed beyond redemption, Sam made a graceful exit, slipping unnoticed from the room as the two men began a point-by-point-by-point-by-point-by- _fucking_ -point comparison of the two _Enterprise_ captains' entire careers.

* * *

“Thin crust is better, Cas. There's no argument to be made here,” Dean stated smugly.

“Actually, I can make numerous arguments to the contrary, Dean, and I would wager that most of the inhabitants of Chicago could, as well.” Cas was not backing down on this, which struck Sam as new.

Since Cas had chosen a few weeks ago to give up his grace and live as a human, he'd pretty much followed Sam and (especially) Dean around the Bunker. It was kind of like having a toddler, the way Cas watched and absorbed their every move, then copied it later. It felt if they were involuntarily teaching a crash course in “how to be human.” So for him to push back like this instead of blandly accepting that Dean was the expert on pizza crust style? Unexpected. Sam settled back with his slice of veggie deluxe to watch how this was going to play out.

By the expression on Dean's face, he hadn't been expecting to be challenged on the subject, either. Ever opinionated and ready for a fight, though, it didn't take long for him to marshal his supporting arguments. “Look,” he began, “First of all, Chicago-style deep dish pizza is an entirely different animal, and you can't use that as a comparison. You eat that shit with a knife and fork, man. That's not pizza, it's a fucking... _Casserole_. Delicious, but not regular pizza. Agreed?”

Cas nodded grudgingly, and Dean continued.

“So what we're comparing here is only thin crust and thick. And if consider the ratio of crust to toppings, and the relative amount of flavor each component brings to the table...”

Sam finished his slice and debated grabbing another. But he was already starting to tire of the Great Pizza Crust Debate, and by the look on the other two men's faces, they were in for the long haul. If he stayed, they might try to pull him into it. He smiled and shook his head. Let them have their conversation. It was good to see Cas starting to find his own preferences. He stood and headed towards the library.

* * *

“Who the hell keeps hanging the toilet paper roll the wrong way?!?” Dean yelled from the main bathroom, and Sam's neck muscles began to cramp as his shoulders drew up towards his ears.

“If you're talking to me, I hang it correctly every time!” Cas shouted back from the other side of the Bunker.

Heavy footsteps sounded in the hallways to either side of the map room, where Sam was sitting, and the voices got rapidly louder as both men approached.

“You _don't_ hang it correctly, Cas, you've got it backwards. The loose end goes _behind_ the roll,” Dean explained, irritated condescension dripping from every word.

“I do not have it _backwards_ , Dean. Research has proven that it's more hygienic _and_ more pleasing in an aesthetic sense to hang the roll with the loose end draped over the top.”

“Ugh, _bullshit_ ,” Dean countered. “And since when are you so into doing housework? Last I checked, I was the only one cleaning _anything_ around here, so how come you're Suzy fucking Homemaker all of a sudden?”

The quick right turn on the topic of his argument confirmed three things in Sam's mind: One, Dean knew Cas was right about the toilet paper but didn't want to admit it. Two, this shit was going to go on for a while, because neither of them was going to back down no matter how pointless the fight was. And three, Sam was going to get another goddamn migraine if he had to stay here and listen to them for one more second.

Now that Cas was settled in to the Bunker as a permanent human and a full-time hunter, it seemed like he and Dean never stopped bickering. Where before the two of them had seemed to enjoy debating each other for the mental exercise, with no hard feelings at the end of the conversation, now they leapt down each other's throats every five minutes, and for the pettiest reasons. There was a tension between them that Sam couldn't figure out, and it was spilling over onto every interaction that occurred in the Bunker. Sam's blood pressure could not take much more of it.

He beat a hasty retreat to his room, sighing in relief as he locked the door behind him, somewhat muting the raised voices that still drifted down the hall. 

* * *

“That's not the _fucking point_ , Cas!!” Dean shouted, still holding an ice pack to the bump on his head. They'd been back for twenty minutes. Sam had hoped the exhausted silence that had prevailed for the entire drive had presaged a quiet return home. The hunt had gone sideways and they'd all gotten knocked around hard, but in the end the job was done and he'd been looking forward to falling into his bed for twelve hours or so. But as soon they'd hit the garage, Dean had laid into his friend, and he wasn't holding anything back. “You can't just go barreling in to a fight like that, you dumb shit!!”

“Oh, and why the hell not?” Cas countered, rage giving his words an acid bite. “Is barreling in to a fight only a job for a Winchester?”

“ _You are a fucking Winchester_ ,” Dean screamed. He stalked up to Cas and grabbed him by the collar with both fists, yelling into his face. “You're not an _angel_ any more! You're just a man! You're a Winchester, like us! And you have! To be! _More careful_!!” He punctuated his words with sharp shakes, tossing Cas's bruised frame back and forth in front of him.

Watching, Sam was scared and confused. His brother's words were about protection, but his hands were violent. After the beating Cas had taken before they'd put down the monster, he was in no shape to handle the way Dean was pushing him around. Sam wavered, a few feet away from where the two men stood, and wondered if he should intervene. But when Cas spoke, his words were icy calm, with no hint of the pain he must be feeling.

“What do you care, Dean? I'm a hunter. I'm a man. I'm nothing but a tool now, just like you. If I can trade my human life to save a dozen others, why would you try to stop me?”

“ _Because I love you!!_ ” The words ripped themselves from Dean's mouth, leaving him shocked and breathless. He loosened his hold on Cas's coat, and his voice dropped to a resigned monotone. “Because I'm in love with you, Cas. Because the last time you died, it almost killed me, and I can't lose you again. You need to be more careful because I love you, and I need you. That's why. But do what you want. I'm going for a drive.” He took his hands away from Cas altogether and turned to go, but Cas grabbed his wrist and kept him there.

“I love you, too,” he murmured, and pulled Dean into his arms. Their mouths met, and Dean moaned softly.

The tiny sound jolted Sam out of his stupefaction. This had clearly become a private moment, one he had no wish to interrupt. As he left the room, he mused, _so that's what all the tension was about. Huh. Good for them. It's gonna be a little weird having to watch them be all doe-eyed and couply together. At least it can't get any worse than the bickering, though. I'm glad that shit's over_.

* * *

Eight days later, when Dean and Cas got into a two-hour screaming match with each other over the appropriate thread count for new sheets for their bed, Sam remembered the naivete of that thought with chagrin.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not in this document advocate any particular opinions on Kirk vs Picard or pizza crust thickness. I do endorse TP over the top, though.
> 
> Rebloggable link for this fic on tumblr is [here](https://blessyourhondahurley.tumblr.com/post/179558138251/october-29-petty-fights-and-the-larger-question).


End file.
